After I waited for it for months, it came in pieces.
I said to my husband: "Is the universe trying to tell me something? Could this be the sign I've been waiting for? Should I just quit writing altogether?"
and he immediately rolled his eyes...
"You are such a drama queen! What is it now?"
Drama queen? Moi?
Excuse me, but how would you react if your coveted Cheryl Strayed "Write like a Motherfucker" mug finally arrives in the mail - in about 25 pieces?!? I've been waiting forever to write like a motherfucker!
So maybe there was a touch of drama in the air and maybe I've been struggling whether I should just quit writing and suck it up and be happy that I have a job with benefits and maybe I've been thinking I should just give it a rest with all the hours I've been putting into my Freelance & Consulting business and just accept the fact that I won't be my own boss.
"Lately, lately I've been losing sleep, thinking about the things that we could be.
Baby, lately I've been playing hard ... no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars."
(One Republic)
I couldn't get this song out of my head and it made me think. It made me think that I want to count stars as well - and instead of counting the broken pieces of the mug I started counting stars.
I've been working hard the last three years since I started my freelance business. I've written three books, lots of articles for magazines and a few for the local paper; I've landed some Social Media and blog clients and have more on the horizon. I sat down and looked over my business plan I wrote just about three years ago and my goal was to be entirely self-employed by the end of 2013.
And you know what? There are no guarantees in life. There are no guarantees that my job will always be secure; there are no guarantees that if I quit, the lotto pool I won't be part of anymore won't win the next jackpot - but there is also nothing that says I can't be successful with my own business and be me own boss.
I got out the superglue and got to work on my broken mug. It took a while and there may be a few tiny pieces missing and I will certainly never drink out of it - but I will most certainly keep my favourite Waterman pen in it and I will certainly write like a motherfucker.
And then I did it - I handed in my resignation last week and as I'm writing this I have 13 working days left. August 30th is my last day and Kerstin Auer Freelance and Consulting - here I come.
Like a motherfucker.