The Five Stages Of A Haircut

 

Have you ever noticed how your haircut seems to go from "every hair is perfect" to "if I don't get a haircut right now I will set my head on fire"?

 

While that last stage literally appears over night, it is preceeded by four other stages, that fool us with their fluid transitions from one stage to the next.

 

Drawing from my vast experience in - more or less successful - haircuts, the five stages of a haircut are best described like this:

 

1. It's exciting - go for it!

 

It's like being in love for the first time. You don't know if it's going to last forever - and it doesn't have to, but you're ready to give it a try.

Sure those super-short bangs will look good! Assymetrical? Why not!

You give up control and just jump.

 

Similar to "the morning after" you come home and may or may not think WTF?

 

2. I'm still surprised when I see myself in the mirror

 

Within a few days of stage 1 comes the acceptance of your new look and you decide to embrace it - is there another choice?

This stage lasts about 2 weeks and the feeling of "maybe I should try a wig and tell people I'm channeling my inner Lady Gaga" when you walk by a mirror slowly but surely turns into "hello there, sugar - come here often?", signaling your arrival at stage 3.

 

3. Perfect hair

 

This stage lasts about 3 days.

 

4. I should get a haircut, but it's too soon and it still looks ok 

 

This is the longest and most deceptive of all stages. It can last anywhere from 4 weeks to 4 months, giving you a false sense of security that it's all good.

 

You can just tuck the hair behind your ears, it's kind of chic, actually! Your blonde highlights are just starting to really shine now! Nobody goes to get another haircut after just 5 weeks! 

 

You look in the mirror and you know something's not right, but you can't quite put your finger on it. You continue on with your life until one morning you wake up and ...

 

5. If I don't get a haircut right now I will set my head on fire

 

... stage 5 has arrived! You shamefully put on a baseball cap and vow to not take it off until this issue has been dealt with.

 

How could you be so naive? How could you not see this coming?

 

Of course it takes you a week to get an appointment for a haircut and while you contemplate what went wrong you browse hairstyles on Pinterest and convince yourself it's time to try something completely different.

 

Which stage are you in right now?