So, Jacob - you have been the family dog for a while now and I think it's time we sit down and have a little talk.
Do you mind if I lay on your couch while we talk?
Go ahead.
Am I in trouble or something? I swear I didn't mean to chew on that dictionary.
What dictionary?
Never mind. Let me change positions, this is not quite comfortable. And I feel like that creepy panther is watching me.
That's better. What do you want to talk about?
I just want to make sure you like living with us and see if you're happy with how things are going.
Well, I am pretty happy - but I really wish you wouldn't make such a big deal about me sitting on the boy's bed.
Come with me, I'll show you.
Look, I blend right into his mess, nobody will ever know I'm there...
Whaddayasay? Are we good with the bed?
I guess, but my bed stays off limits! Anything else?
Since you're asking - come to the living room with me. See those birds out there? Any chance you can catch one of them for me? Those suckers are too fast for me, but I really want one...
Sorry buddy, can't help you there. Let's go for a walk, it's nice out today! But you'll have to wear your hoodie, you'll be cold otherwise with your new haircut.
I am not impressed with that - you're always making the boy wear his jacket as well; I think I'll have to go and talk to him about this!
The end (please tell me you're talking to your dog as well).