Last week I wrote a Fucket List and one of the items on that list was "I won't stop embarrassing my kids".
My friend Arnebya - who is spectacularly funny and witty and an absolute inspiration - commented that this rule is actually part of the parenting bylaws:
Apart from the fact that I need her to write a Fucket List stat, I also thought it's time for me to write a post about the parenting bylaws. Yes, parents have a responsibility that goes way beyond survival of the offspring - and it's time to lay down the law.
The parenting bylaws include - but are not limited to:
1. Teaching our kids appropriate social skills.
Now I happen to be a believer in "learning by doing" - and I can be sure that if I do something, my kids don't want to imitate it. A good way to teach children how to appropriately dress in public is to wear pajama pants when you walk them to school - you can be sure that they will never do that then.
Equally important is a lesson about personal space. This is best accomplished my asking your teenager's friends things like "so does your mom still make you wear long johns or is it just me?" when they come to your house (this one works really well).
2. Making sure our kids know that we love them.
Of course there are many ways to show our love, but not many ways are as convincing as a hug and a kiss right in front of your kid's school. This gesture can be completed by licking your fingers or a tissue and cleaning your kid's cheek with it before you send them off. Nothing says "I love you" like mommy's spit!
3. Encouraging our kids to make the right choices.
In the age of Social Media and ever changing privacy settings of allthenetworks, it's especially important that you show your kids just how many people can see a post that was accidentally put on Facebook. A teenage meltdown or a picture of your kid wearing the sweater that grandma knitted are both very suitable for this. Don't forget to share it with all your friends and tag your kids in the picture!
4. Making sure our kids eat well.
Growing bodies need lots of nutrients, especially at school when their brains are working hard. Popular school lunches among High Schoolers include anything heart-shaped and home-made - so get those cookie cutters ready!
5. Put a focus on education.
We all know that reading is a very important skill to have - I'm pretty sure it's even more important than Math - and it's every parent's duty to support their kids' reading skills. What better way to do so than to leave little love notes in their school lunches, with their friends to pass along and of course on their Facebook wall. Make sure you double-check your spelling!
Did I forget anything?